Friday, January 9, 2009

This message brought to you by Depends!

I'm slowly losing my mind. It's been 2 weeks since they cut my hours and I am ill over it. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd miss the black hole of death, but I do. I miss the few coworkers that make me laugh and the money. Oh, how I miss the minimum wage money.

At my store, there are three people that are what we small cashier's call, "The Big Dogs". One of them I've mentioned before under the alias, "Bob". The other two are older women, one of which has made it very well known that she wishes me death, and the other has taken it upon herself to be my Retail Mentor.

So that means 2 out the 3 hate me more then Black Friday and the other one wants to adopt me. Good odds, right?

My "Mentor" called me Tuesday morning and begged me to work. One of the daytime newbies had up and quit, leaving them without a cashier for nearly 2 hours. Let's be frank, I need the money. They could call me at 2 A.M and I'd go in. It's that bad. I accepted the extra hours with open arms.

The shift was dead for awhile. A few early risers walked through, but that was it. "Mentor" decides that since I'm enjoying the quiet, this would be the perfect time to give me my first evaluation.

Ahhhh, yes. The ole', "Come in and save us from going under!" trick got me again! Dang, she's good.

The evaluation went well. My strength's were that I had a awesomely friendly attitude (which means great customer service skills) and got work done when told. My weakness? I don't trust myself to answer questions from customers. In all reality, this is true, but really? Of all my weaknesses, she chose THAT one? How about, "Sarcastic Overflowth from register" or "A.D.D creates hostile enviroment for small children"?

Overall, I got a cool 97 as my employee grade. In my book, that is best grade I've gotten without cheating, so I was thrilled.

"Bob" then walks in the office and decides to stick his old nose where it doesn't belong.

"Whatcha doing, Mentor?"

"D's quarterly evaluation. She's being promoted from seasonal to part time."

"Evaluation, eh? You had BETTER put "Talks too much" as a weakness. I mean it! *stabs paper to death with finger* This girl is a trouble maker. If she could scan as much as she talks, she'd be a star employee! Humpf!"

Steam pours out of my ears. This sexist jackass loathes me. How he is able to walk around and talk, without being propped up, is beyond me. He's convinced everyone that he is deaf, but I have my doubts. It seems as though he is working some ancient Chinese torture on me. Instead of slowly pouring drop of water on my dehydrated forehead, he is popping up when I least want him to and spouting sexist waste onto my life.

"Mentor" sighes and scribbles down that I talk. Anything to shut the Bob up. That knocks my score to a 92. Either way, I passed the evaluation, but it just kills me that he had to pull his usual stunt.

Here's hoping the diarrhea fairy makes a stop at his home and leaves him with the gift that keeps on giving!


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