Thursday, November 27, 2008

Gobble Gobble...Really now?

You would think that the holidays would bring out the best in people, but it's really quite the opposite.

Customer become raging maniac's when it comes to them and their money.

Case in point...

The store I work at had a HUGE Thanksgiving sell today. I was lucky enough to only have to work the afternooin shift, but it was busy none the less.

On several cases, I found myself face to face with some of the rudest people you could possible imagine. I had a man literally throw money in my face in order to avoid spending another minute in my line. On another occasion, a women in my line decided to tell someone at another register to shut her kid up.

Amazing when you really start to think about it. What is it about these times that makes people go crazy. It's as if we get so caught up in the image, that we forget to stop and take a breather.

I for one, am thankful for...

-Debit/Credit Cards (making my life 10x easier)
-15 minute breaks. (A life savor.)
-Patient people (They make my job bareable)
-the Scan-gun thingy-doodle. (allowing me to feel like the Cash-inator 24/7 and giving me the satifaction of imaging scanning bitchy customers to oblivion)

Things I am not thankful for...

-Screaming children. (Please, either take the time to quiet them or be considerate enough to come back at another time.)
-Price checks. (You know who you are. One price check? Cool. Two price checks? Okay. 8 price checks? Shananigans!)
-Grunters. (When I say "Hello. How are you today?" and all I get is a grunt, it only says one thing. You are so exceptionally rude that you cannot manage to inhale the brutal air to say something back so instead you will create an internal noise in order to prevent yourself from having any sort of conversation.)
-Those who insist on paying a $20 purchase with change.

Happy Gobble Gobble Day.


Sunday, November 23, 2008


Thanks to hard economic times, there is a new trend quickly taking flight. The ability to pay for large items, solely with small bills or coins, is the new black.

Yesterday, a lady goes through my line to pay off her credit card. I pull up the program to do such activity on my register and then am blown away with what happens next.

The lady lays down a bank bag with $400 in ones. The best part? I have to manually count every single one to confirm the total.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have, by far, the worst case of A.D.D possible, so to have to count ones and be expected to keep up with the numbers is rediculous.

Then, today an older women pays for her purchase with $20 worth of quarters in a ziplock bag.

The economy is bad, but please keep in mind that your cashier HAS to count every coin and/or bill to make sure they have the right amount.

Don't make me want to shove those quarters up your nose or give you dollar cuts. It's not a pretty sight.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Hell with a price check...

When I walked into work yesterday, everything seemed to be going relatively smoothly. The other cashiers were still smiling and the new girl being trained, wasn't in fetal position crying.

Convincing myself that these were signs of a good night, I open my register and turned on the glowing light of death.

I don't know what it is about people feeling the need to race over to a newly opened register, but it's like a scene from a WWE fight. Buggies plow into each other, obscene words are thrown out, children are shoved in order to get a head of the's pure madness.

A couple walk up (both heavier set) and chunk their stuff onto the counter. Neither of them answer my routine question of "How are you?", which leads me to believe that manners are not a requirement to shop here.

The lady purchases a pair of lepard print thong underwear which only brought repulsive images to my already exhausted brain.

Shaking off the terror, I continue with their purchases only to find that the man of the house has bought, not one, but THREE boxes of jumbo condoms.

Your own jokes can be inserted into this particular scene, but mine was simple. Why the hell would you need that many Jumbo sized condom?

I was so tempted to just show him the Hefty Gladbags (cheaper, and no ripping!), but I need this job therefore, I quickly scan the items and shove them into a victimized bag of grossness.

One of the many downfalls of being a cashier, I get to see first-hand the crap you buy leaving plenty of room for sarcasm and interpretation. I could work for SNL with the stories I make up in my head using only the stuff on my counter.

But seriously, three boxes?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

A bit about me and my ramblings...

I can't tell you much about the place I work, except that it's a fairly major retail store in the middle of a crappy town. It preys upon the weak student begging for a job. That's where I come in.

I'm a full time student at a local community college. I'm currently going into the Premed program, so most of my time is filled with papers and random tests.

Recently, I realized that I was tired of being dependent on my mom and got a job at this particular store as a seasonal cashier.

Having never done any sort of cashiering, much less worked a part time job, I wasn't sure what to expect. I was shocked at the drama that unfolds everyday in my semi-cubical of hell. I've only been working there for two weeks and already, I am fearful of what the future brings.

Everyday, I deal with price checks, non-English speakers, people who feel a need to throw their money at me, screeching children, paranoid ladies who are convinced I'm out to take their money, dirty men who stare at my boobs the entire transaction, and, oh, so much more.

Then only thing that keeps me there is...
A) the money. (Hey, some of us really need to see some green, ya know?)
B) subborness. (It's a blessing hidden deep in the core of a curse)
C) the rare nice people.

C is what makes my work almost enjoyable. I love the few that make me laugh or say something that inspires me. On a few occasions, I've stood and realized that there are still some good people in the world today.

Normally, I just rant to my mother about the trials of my job. However, I'm realizing that even she is getting tired of my ramblings. A blog seems to be the next best thing.

Thanks for the free therapy.

-Your friendly Cashier-

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