Saturday, June 6, 2009

Martha Stewart is the devil.....

It's 5 minutes till closing. You can physically see the employees release the almighty sigh of relief. After a long and tedious two-day inventory, we are all a step away from retail death.

A petite women with long blonde pigtails races through the door like a platapus on cocaine. Every employee within a foot of the service desk, shoots visual daggers at the back of her head.

Now, skip ahead 10 minutes. The manager makes the announcement that the store is CLOSED. In my head, the overall message sounded something like, "Hey loser who is still in the store. Get the hell out before I release these starving workers on you. No, seriously, buy something or go..."

The lady marches up and promptly screams, "I'm here for the Mayor! She needs purple pillows! It's for the MAYOR!"

Skip ahead another 10 minutes where she is still frantically searching the store screaming something about the f-ing mayor and purple pillows. Yeah, we are being held against our will after closing, for purple pillows....20 minutes over, to be exact.

I have waaaaayyyy too many anger issues for this lady. I don't care if she's there for Barack Obama....why is she shopping for purple pillows at a low end crappy retail store??? We have one automatic door that is shattered because a lady in the electric wheelchair went the wrong way and slammed into it. Does that sound like a place the Mayor would shop?

The manager shakes her head and herds the cattle of a women to the checkouts and allows the employees to leave before they started throwing piles of crap at her.

I bet my whole paycheck this lady not only DIDN'T work for the mayor, but used those pillows in some drive-by pillow gang war. Martha Stewart being the fashionable godfather figure.


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