Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mama, Don't let your babies grow be assholes.

The day before Mother's Day. Blinded by foolishness, I had convinced myself that today would no worse then any other day. Apparently, 'Mother's Day' is code for "Treat your Cashiers like crap because you were too lazy to get your mom stuff ahead of time."

My register had been swamped the entire day. Breathing was becoming a thing of the past and my movements were almost robotic. A heavier set man walks through and buys the usual stuff for mama dearest. Flowers? Check. Cheesy Card? Check. Creepy Teddy Bear? Check.

He pays with a credit card. Luckily for me, all the debit card swipers machines have crashed and burned, so we are forced to hand scan them ourselves. The man pays with a credit card and because of some weird glitch, I have to imprint the card.

Everything goes through fine. I hand the man his receipt and am off to the next loser. Three transactions later, I see that the man is still lurking next to my register.

"Sir, Can I help you?"
"What are you trying to pull bitch?"
"Excuse me?"
"Listen, I may look like a fool, but I'm not. I know what your doing. I've already had my identity stolen once and I'm not going to let some C*** like you screw up my credit again. Consider yourself fired you dumb bitch!"
I look at the man in complete shock. First of all, I don't put up with being called anything. Secondly, had the store manager (the big dog, as we refer to her) not been at the service desk behind me...I might have smothered the man with a Joe Boxer pillow.
My register is completely in need of dollar bills, so I walk the 2 feet to get change and there he is. The asshole is trying to get the attention of the manager and when he sees me promptly says, "Nope, you're dismissed little lady. Go back to your register."
Later, the BIG DOG manager walks by me and inquires about the incident. She laughs when she gets my side.
"I could tell he was a loon the minute he walked up. Don't worry about it."
Why, yes! I was indeed stealing your identity sir. All my life, I've wanted to be a fat bald man with one tooth and a lazy eye. It's my dream, really. Damn you for ruining the American dream, you prick.


Free Blogger Templates by Isnaini Dot Com. Powered by Blogger and Free Ebooks